THE CONCISE HISTORY OF THE "NO IDEA AWARD" (also known as the BROWN JACKET)
Cricket clubs are, by their nature, a collection of diverse and eclectic individuals.
For a club to succeed, it must recognise that each individual has different strengths and talents, and be able to harness these for the collective good. Significantly, the value of each member’s contribution to a club cannot be measured solely in the runs they make, the wickets they take, or even the time they spend assisting in administration. It is an individual’s expression of their passion, quirks and foibles that provide a club with its character and humanity.
In recognition of this, the Western District Cricket Club has instituted the ‘No Idea’ Award, which now has a history spanning over 20 years.
The aim of the Award is to recognise those people who are lacking in commonsense or competence, at a particular moment, as a tangible reminder that a club will only remain vibrant as long as the characters and personalities within it are valued and celebrated.
The Club first presented the ‘No Idea Award’ in season 1985/86 at the initiative of Glenn O’Sullivan, inspired by the performances of Geoff ‘Kinners’ McKinnon, and has awarded it in each subsequent season. Simply, the individual who performs the most stupid and/or irrational, ill-explained act over the course of a season is the winner of the Award.
In its inaugural year in 1986, the Award as presented was a blown-up plastic deer with its eyes covered up (a no-eye deer). This priceless piece of history was, however, last seen that very night dancing in the arms of an anonymous young Yass cricketer (Rod Ellis) at a nightclub (Blind Beggars) into the wee hours!
The Award then became ‘the Brown Jacket’, presented as just that, a Brown Jacket, that must not ever, ever become over time at all fashionable!
Listed below are the winners, and a description of the act performed to earn the Jacket.
86 - 87 Kinners, at deep mid-off, for calling for and running in for a high ball when, diving full stretch for the grab in a haze of dust as he hit the deck, was right next to the bowler, who took it safely mid-pitch.
87 - 88 Kinners, for pouring the team’s cordial and ice (just add water) into a sink.
88 - 89 Kinners, for accepting the award at Presentation Night even though he hadn’t actually won, out of force of habit.
89 - 90 Marcus Cosgrave, who was playing 1st Grade, which was one wicket away from winning the match outright and, fortuitously, two other Westies grades were there to watch the exciting conclusion. ‘Cossie’ was bowling (could have been a brown jacket there for the skipper as well ‘Grimmo’) and the batsman on strike had a runner standing out at square leg. The striker played the ball out to mid-off and Cossie turned around to take the return, there was then a mix up and he looked over his right shoulder to see two batsmen at the same end. Unfortunately for him, however, these two batsmen were the non-striker and the injured striker, so not the striker’s runner. Seeing two batsmen at the same end and seemingly stranded, Cossie decided to end the match in style by doing a lambada with the stumps before removing the bails, but not before the runner out at square leg had merrily made his ground.
Thankfully, Westies did win the game outright, and our red headed hero had won a ‘Brown Jacket’, amongst all brown jackets.
90 - 91 David Pauley, who had a flat tyre at the end of a match and managed to jack the car up and change the tyre, only to find the car just wouldn’t go anywhere. David called for road service and the problem was successfully rectified when the mechanic took the handbrake off.
91 - 92 Stewart White, for knocking himself out when in the process of moving a sightscreen.
92 - 93 Stewy White and Tony Bailey, for colliding in the outfield and then arguing about whose fault it was, while the batsmen ran four.
93 - 94 Mick Brady, for rolling a salad sandwich onto (and into) a good length at O’Connor Oval.
94 - 95 Jeff Clark, for losing his bowling mark in the 4th Grade Grand Final, only to find it stuck to his spikes.
95 - 96 Andy Carmody, for landing the coin on the dressing shed roof whilst tossing the coin with the opposition captain.
96 - 97 Jonny Fuller, for polishing the ball for the other side.
97 - 98 Chris Evans, for accelerating his car over a gutter from a starting position, and through a coppers log at the Aranda Oval carpark.
98 - 99 Matt McGann, for a notorious act for which that season he earnt the nicknames ‘Moby dick’ and ‘tosser’.
99 - 00 Matt McGann, for losing ‘the Brown Jacket’.
00 - 01 Marcus Cosgrave, for his ‘dancing water throw’ and quick feet in a public place, all in the same movement.
01 - 02 Paul Goddard, for being found with a male in a public toilet, a golf cart menace, and having an aversion to wearing similarly coloured socks.
02 - 03 Andrew Appeldorf, for his penchant for a love-marinated, aggressively cooked, very well done steak.
03 - 04 Benjamin Keens, for mistaking Paul Hulleat for a sleeping beauty. Romeo romeo where art thou Romeo?
04 - 05 Mark Hatton, for moving the roller from Jamison to Aranda (about 2 km) one night at the same time as moving his car, going back and forth between the 2 while intoxicated and letting the roller run solo. This took several hours.
05 - 06 Tom Colbatch, for taking his lady out to the wicket at Kaleen one night for some intimate play.
06 - 07 Matt McGann, for redecorating the inside of his car with an exploding can of spray paint.
07 - 08 Brendon Lyon, for fielding at first slip with a helmet on and regularily knocking himself out during the season attempting catches.
08 - 09 Matt Wheatley, for ending up in hospital and nearly dying. While on Keensy's bucks night in Melbourne, Matt tried to hurdle a fence, he then ended up impaled on a metal pole on the other side of it.The Impalment Story, Another Wheatsium - The Jamie Oliver Incident
09 - 10 Dave Kidd, for almost costing 4th grade the 2-day premiership. It was the last game before the semi's and it had rained heavily on the Friday night. Thinking 4's were playing at Kaleen Dash told Brett their game was off. They were meant to be at Chisholm 2.
10 - 11 David Spare, trying to unblock the toilet at his work after using it, with his hands.
11 - 12 Peter McKell, for asking David Spare to bowl an over in 2nd grade, after having bowled 4 balls for 14 runs he was told to fake an injury by Peter so he could get someone else to bowl the last 2 balls.
12 - 13 Alex Taylor, When assisting in marking out the wicket at the new Kaleen practise nets, measured the pitch to be 20 yards instead of 20 metres.
13 - 14 Addie Johnson, for super gluing her eyes shut.
14 - 15 John Cheadle .Doesn't know how to change a car tyre. Organised a boys trip with a total of 7 fellas but only booked 6 beds.
Ended up sleeping naked with one of the other fellas on the trip. Forgot match balls for the grand final.
15 - 16 Nic Ada. Lift home from mad Monday and ends up passing out in his front yard. Not heard of or seen until Rachel is ringing the boys wondering where he is because he never came home.
16 - 17 Jack Harper. Scratching the initials of Robbie Van Aalst into the square at Stirling in 1st grade. Needless to say their curator wasn't overly impressed.
17 - 18 David Gladwin - For dropping his Son from the side, because he picked too many players.